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kangeikoThat panicked feeling I was waiting for, the sinking feeling in your stomach before an exam that was missing? Finally got here. The heat went away today, and my meds are taking their sweet time to kick back in now that all the tests are over, and I'm staring at a pile of notes on the mechanisms in eurocurrency money markets and calculating rates of return and choosing appropriate investment strategies and my palms are sweating. Classic indicator of panic, that.
I fully intend to blame the huge amounts of S3 West Wing I've been watching, which never fails to make me feel like I'm slacking off and not doing my best. It's like a great big guilt trip and I've been using it to kick-start my reivions for a while now. Unfortunately, brain power is required and I just didn't have enough of that until today.
Yup. Final exam day after tomorrow. It's now approaching midnight. And I haven't finished money and capital markets, and still have all of treasury management and post-1945 UK economic history to wade through. Tomorrow's going to be fun. Of the not-fun kind.
I can't shake the feeling that I just haven't tried hard this time around and I'm going to be punished by failing. This, of course, will be a disaster on many levels, not least of all the stress involved in retaking any exams when I've got to hand in that bloody dissertation. Also, yeah, the ickiness of retakes in general. This is mainly tied up in the conviction that if I'm not a big mess by the end of exams, if I haven't worked myself into exhaustion, if I haven't collapsed into a big pile of stressified goo and cried myself to sleep, well - I'm just not working hard enough. Now, call me crazy, but that doesn't sound particularly healthy to me. I am very comfortable with blaming my teachers for this attitude.
Stupid Protestant work-ethic. *sulk*
I fully intend to blame the huge amounts of S3 West Wing I've been watching, which never fails to make me feel like I'm slacking off and not doing my best. It's like a great big guilt trip and I've been using it to kick-start my reivions for a while now. Unfortunately, brain power is required and I just didn't have enough of that until today.
Yup. Final exam day after tomorrow. It's now approaching midnight. And I haven't finished money and capital markets, and still have all of treasury management and post-1945 UK economic history to wade through. Tomorrow's going to be fun. Of the not-fun kind.
I can't shake the feeling that I just haven't tried hard this time around and I'm going to be punished by failing. This, of course, will be a disaster on many levels, not least of all the stress involved in retaking any exams when I've got to hand in that bloody dissertation. Also, yeah, the ickiness of retakes in general. This is mainly tied up in the conviction that if I'm not a big mess by the end of exams, if I haven't worked myself into exhaustion, if I haven't collapsed into a big pile of stressified goo and cried myself to sleep, well - I'm just not working hard enough. Now, call me crazy, but that doesn't sound particularly healthy to me. I am very comfortable with blaming my teachers for this attitude.
Stupid Protestant work-ethic. *sulk*