kangeiko

Did anyone recently write some meta they intended as a gift for someone in the B5 fandom? Because I've received some here, but I'm fairly sure it was mis-linked and it was intended for someone else. I don't recognize the creator, either. (It's meta about the Earth-Minbari war with some elements from the script books I think?)
Edit: mystery solved!
*

Job-hunting continues, my levels of stress are somewhere in the stratosphere, please send more spoons.

TW: mental health, suicidal ideation

( Read more... )

 Wow, I haven't posted here in a little while. I've mostly been stolen by tumblr, which is easier to post to from a mobile as I spend far less time doing social media stuff on my laptop. I was thinking about getting a laptop that's a little more portable, which would allow me to write more and blog more; any recommendations?

In the meantime, I wrote some fic and saw some theatre, so here is a short round-up of activity since, well, the middle of last year.

Fic wot I wrote:

Matins (Sherlock BBC)
"I think I would be perfectly alright if you died," Sherlock said over tea. He glared at Mycroft and very deliberately took a sip of Darjeeling.

spilt milk (The World's End)
Five things that never happened to Gary King (and one that did).

I finally finished this! It took me a few months, and in the meantime, I received some glorious fan art for it which made me weak at the knees. 

the ninth month (Coriolanus - Shakespeare / Coriolanus - Rob Hastie & Josie Rourke)
Each step further from her body has led to this. Volumnia has no illusions.


For yuletide I wrote the following:

I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be (Seafort Saga - David Feintuch) for Serenade 
"Why, Holser?"
"I don't know. Maybe now the Captain's dead, being first middy doesn't seem so important. Maybe it's the way Alexi looks at you sometimes, when he thinks you don't see."
Alexi isn't the hero of this story. He can't even remember his lines.

the bone mother (Deathless - Catherynne M. Valente) for dynamicsymmetry 
Look, said Viy, and held out the world for her inspection. Look, milochka, at what I have for you.
The Tsars and Tsaritsas of Widow Likho's black book.

a funny thing happened on the way to the ballot box(Deathless - Catherynne M. Valente / Political RPF - Russian 21st c.) for JJ_Shinnick 
This is what happens when you let your sister matchmake.

such is the breath of kings(Richard II - Shakespeare) for angevin2 
After Richard's death, the Duke of York visits his son. Set within the 2013 RSC version (where Exton's character is subsumed in the character of Aumerle).

northward, with such quiet steps (Frankenstein - Nick Dear) for Kahvi 
Slowly, gradually, the pursuit progressed.

Ouroboros (Frankenstein - Nick Dear) for Kahvi 
Victor collapses in the Arctic. The Creature intervenes.


Reviews of theatre/opera/ballet wot I saw fairly recently: 
- King Charles III (Almeida Theatre)
- King Lear (and here) (National Theatre) 
- Henry V (Noel Coward Theatre)
- Carmen (Royal Opera House)
- Prince Igor (London Coliseum)
- Richard II - RSC (and here) (Barbican Theatre) 
- Coriolanus (and here) (Donmar Warehouse) (& more meta on the play & this interpretation of it is here). My Coriolanus tag is fairly full.
- American Psycho: A New Musical Thriller (Almeida Theatre)

Things that I saw that I haven't gotten around to reviewing are the Let the Right One In (Royal Court Theatre), Matthew Borne Swan Lake (Sadler's Wells), Red Velvet (Adrian Lester - Tricycle Theatre), The Weir (Brian Cox - Wyndham's Theatre), A Taste of Honey (with the wonderful selenak , at the National Theatre), The Full Monty (Noel Coward Theatre), Versailles (Donmar Warehouse), 1984 (Almeida Theatre), Walmsley String Quartet (Royal Albert Hall).

non- theatre events: I attended the Sherlock Apple store event (photos and comments here and here or check out my applelock tag), the Royal Television Society "Anatomy of a Hit" lecture & drinks thing (comments and photos here and here, or check my rts tag), Malala Yousafzai's talk at the Southbank Centre (comments & photos here),

The above reviews are all on tumblr. I'm thinking of starting a blog or tumblr or something focused specifically on theatre reviews. I've been going more and more, and although I do the obvious things like collecting programmes, not writing down my immediate impressions means that I lose quite a bit of the memory of the performance, especially the quirky little things that won't then be recalled easily for a programme perusal. I'm still trying to work out the best format for that; I suspect that Wordpress (then crossposted to tumblr / LJ / DW) might be the best approach. If I treat it as a fairly rigorous this I may well be able to stick to it; it's only ad hoc blogging that I can't seem to get the hang of.

Speaking of things I can't get the hang of, I appear to be doing too many Nine Worlds things. Like, far too many. Two panels for sure, and maybe helping on others? This may not seem too many, but I have recently handed in my notice (because I have a wonderful new job that I am VERY excited about) and Nine Worlds is falling fairly soon after I start. I don't think this is a problem, but it means that I need to sit down and think out what I need to be doing for all the things I've committed to, rather than blindly trusting that things will work out in the end (because that way needless stress lies). 

In order to avoid needless stress, I will be taking a glorious 3 weeks holiday in between finishing current job and starting new job. This will probably involve a few days abroad, although the details are tbd. My mother seems fairly keen for us to go away to a spa in the Czech Republic for a week (I'm not entirely sure where in the Czech Republic, I suspect it's in the middle of a forest as all spas tend to be), and I'm fairly keen to spend a few days back in Paris doing art things, so who knows. It's quite nice leaving that all up in the air deciding nearer the time.

My Italian study has faltered since Christmas (as in, I've done fuck all since then), but this is mainly because I've actually been rather sick over the last quarter and have also been job hunting. Work has also been so spectacularly bad, we are the source of astonished entertainment for other teams. If I saw these plotlines on a show, I'd complain they weren't realistic. But that's mostly resolved now - plus, fantastic new job. So phase 2 of my new year's resolution (fix work, health, long-term life goals) is now moving on to a focus on health. This probably wasn't helped by eating doughnuts today, but let's assume that I'll be, er, healthier somehow with the Easter impetus. I'm definitely going to be indulging in some pilates classes, and will actually dust off that gym card as well. I suppose Italian self-study is the sensible thing to slot into my new schedule at this time as well... well, we'll see.

I'm moving house tomorrow, therefore I have boxes everywhere & am not packed AT ALL. This is fine. I will have plenty of time to pack during the NO TIME I have allocated for this. #idiot

And then I have to do all the new!house things, like pick a broadband provider. Hivemind, what do we think about Virgin Media? Is the promised superfast connection really superfast?

Also, I have been too stressed to properly pay attention to, & restrain my parents during, the new!house shopping. This means I got home to find a shiny new stainless steel kitchen roll holder. WTF is this, I don't even have kitchen roll - but no, my mother had thought of this, and purchased me a giant pack. "Ah, I see you have bought the essentials," I said. "Yes," she said, not looking up, "I got the pastry brush and the parmesan grater, but I held back on replacing your piping bag. You'll be ok for a few weeks without one?" NO MOTHER, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO. I guess it's good that I have the parmesan grater to comfort me during my difficult time.

Seriously, I love my parents, and they are unfailing generous, but I think they still think of me as a little girl leaving home for the very first time. My father wants to buy me some more miniature pots & pans, presumably to make tiny cakes. I feel like he's outfitting a doll's house. I have forbidden them from buying anything else whatsoever.

Colleague at work looked like she gonna cry today, so I gave her a hug. Audit time is never fun.

Also, Yuletide. I am still excited in principle, but the sheer exhaustion of moving house is sapping my energy & vim somewhat. Please send replacement vim.

The common image of Africa is of desert and red sand. Maybe that's true of some parts - the Sahelian and Sahara regions, for instance - and red is certainly a major part of the African palette. But green is a much bigger part. My experience of Africa has primarily been one of greenery dripping with rain, and the thick smell of flowers in the air. Even in cities like Abuja, which are more akin to Milton Keynes than anywhere else, trees and bushes and ferns are abundant. In a place like Lilongwe - lazy and sprawling - it feels like the city is barely hours old, freshly claimed from the forest. I know, intellectually, just how much work goes into keeping each compound lush and beautiful. I've seen the hours put in, and bills for a full-time gardener on staff. But leave the compound and walk along the street, and you should watch where you step, because on the ground is a carpet of blue-purple flowers, thick and soft, freshly fallen that morning from the blossoming trees. I will try to take a picture of the road near my house in the enxt few days, before the trees finish losing their blossoms. Even then, the green is not yet done. The rains are coming, and with them, the most beautiful time of year. Every tree and shrub bursts into bloom, and the fern underfoot - kept neatly trimmed in a thicker lawn than mere grass could provide - make a bid for freedom. The green explodes into life.

The animals and birds respond. My colleague has been bemoaning the birds outside her window: charming in daylight hours, but infuriating at 5am. I don't have sognbirds keeping me awake, but there is a persistent rooster that wakes up at about 4am and makes his presence known. My grandparents had roosters on their farm, and when I was little I'd be woken by the crowing. Last night, I curled up on my bed - on my own sheets, with my own pillow case, in my own bedclothes and with my books and water bottle and phone beside me - and fell asleep after a struggle. Too much coffee, you see. I slept oddly, trying to wake at the usual 6.45am but unable to do so, staggering upright finally at 10am. I dreamed I was at home. I woke, and stretched, and here's the thing: I was. Suddenly, everything was familiar.

I stretched and staggered into the bathroom to brush my teeth, my hands automatically reaching for the bottled water to wet my toothbrush rather than turning on the tap. I pulled on my gym kit while half-asleep, forced down a banana, and worked my way through Davina's aerobics and legs workout. I was half-way through a follow-up pilates session by the time I was fully awake. I filtered some water, filled the kettle, and got into the shower for a luxurious eucalyptus-scented wake-up call. Wandering out refreshed, I had a pot of rooibos tea and scrambled eggs while reading The Observer that had helpfully downloaded onto my Kindle while showering. I did a load of laundry. I read a chapter of Antonia Fraser's Mary, Queen of Scots. I did my washing up. I listened to the worshippers singing as they returned home from church. I made another pot of tea, opened all the windows and sat down with melba toast and home-made jam and my laptop to check my email.

Outside, it started to rain.

So, if you've had the misfortune to be anywhere near me during the last five years, you may have been subjected to one or more of the following:
1) complaints that I am tired,
2) complaints that I can't breathe properly,
3) complaints that I can't hold my alcohol,
4) complaints that I am in a permanent bad mood,
5) complaints that I feel stupid.

I spent quite a bit of Xmas in hospital being prodded by an ENT specialist, who was able to tell me within ten minutes that this is entirely due to a chest infection I had five years ago that closed off several important pieces of my innards (including sinuses, airways, all optional stuff like that) and that I have lived the last five years with the oxygen intake of someone at the top of Kilimanjaro. THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. It explains the giddiness, the tiredness, the mood swings, the breathlessness, the susceptibility to infection, every bloody thing. It even explains why my alcohol tolerance disappeared entirely for no apparent reason, and why my energy levels dropped dramatically and never picked up again. SO. Now that I have a diagnosis, I also have a treatment plan (FUCKING STRONG ANTIBIOTICS to combat stuff - I remember these fuckers, they pumped me full of the stuff when I had pneumonia - and three other things all designed to open an airway). I have to take all of this for a month (it's a pain, bc it takes half an hour to do everything, morning and night), and then, hopefully, I will have... air. AIR, YOU GUYS! The first kick of the drugs left me oxygen-drunk, I sat around giggling to myself and inhaling all the way down to my toes.

The bad news is, if they don't work (i.e. if things revert after a couple of months) I'm gonna need to have surgery to reconstruct an airway. BUT THAT'S OK BC THEY WILL WORK AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.

You have no idea of the relief I felt at being told all this. I'd convinced myself it was all in my head, that it was psychosomatic and I just had to get on with it. I got more and more frustrated that I had no energy, that I couldn't sleep well, that I couldn't even inhale properly. AND NOW THERE IS A REASON! IDEK, my head exploded from relief.

*

Uh, other stuff. itinerant_vae told me I'd been recced, which was v flattering, especially as I wrote that fic on a whim and fully expected everyone in fandom to hate it. (Why, yes, I did write dark!fic for a sitcom, what's your point?)

Other writing I have done - 3 yuletide fics, which I found a struggle considering that my lungs were really packing up by that point. I'm glad that I perserved, though, even if they are a bit random.

Uh, I also found an old Angel/Spike fic I wrote eons ago and never posted, so that's up at AO3 now. [ Oubliette ] It occurs to me that once I finish importing all my fic to AO3, I will have c. 350 fics. This is weird. I don't feel like I've written much stuff, but I guess I must have. Well, I'm signed up to 3 separate fanfic 100 challenges (Londo, Arvin/Jack, and 100fandoms), so there's plenty of fic to come from those. Anyway, it just feels a bit weird.

Finally, I've written the first second third fourth draft of the Sherlock fic I owe for help_pakistan . I have the final beta notes now, and will be working on finishing that up before the New Year. It's not quite what I intended to write when I started out, but then again these things rarely are.

My throat is feeling rather sandpapery. In fact, my throat has been feeling rather sandpapery for a few days now, which I attributed to a lurking hangover, but am now forced to concede may be due to something else. I am supposed to be having a lovely dinner with friends tonight, but am tempted to just head home and have some of my mum's home-cooked food and acquire magic health points. (Yesterday's raid on the parental fridge was a resounding success, with several meals and vegetable health-related items pilfered.) OTOH, dinner with friends, always a plus, and I haven't seen them for a while. (Saturday.) So I think gulping some paracetamol might be my best bet, and then possibly having a shorter (shortish?) day tomorrow.

In the meantime, I am trying to write a setof report guidelines that have grown from a sensible 3 pages to an unwieldy 7 pages. Nobody reads 7 pages of report guidelines. To the red pen of doom!

(Also, I watched Doctor Who 5.3 and wasn't impressed, especially as I am also currently watching The Talons of Weng Chiang. On the one hand, massive, massive race!fail. OTOH, plot and script and acting to blow you out of the water (and a companion to make me want to ship it liek whoa. Is there Four(/&)Leela out there? Preferably with her playing bodyguard?)

I probably have more to say on the subject of Who, but my overall (non-spoilery) impression is that the acting is spot-on for both 11 and Amy, but the last two scripts have felt rather under-developed, which is a shame. Maybe there is better to come as they get into the swing of it?)

Well, looks like we survived another year. Last night was fun, at queenspanky for the festivities. This morning I managed breakfast - and not a hangover in sight! - and DW then followed. Um, more on that later, once I haven't figured out WTF it was about...

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So, the year in fic. First, the yuletide reveal -

Yuletide 2009 Fics:

Goma, La Belle for Scylla
[Sahara, Rated R, 26k, Gen]

After a routine mission goes awry, Al and Dirk have to race against time to stop a deadly diamond-smuggling ring -- that harbours even deadlier secrets...

This was my major writing project of the year, and grew out of me not being able to write for my actual assigned fandom. I thought, "well, I've seen the film - why not give it a go?" and then realised I could use all the source material from my recent Congo trip to fuel it. Hence the word count. I tried to make it reasonably accessible, even for people who haven't seen the film. I have to say, this was rather difficult to write, primarily because I didn't have much time to write it - work was being demanding at the same time, so I had very few evenings in which to get the bulk of it down. But I got it done on time, for which I am grateful.

*

do zla boga pinch-hit for Minnow
[Neil Gaiman - American Gods, Rated R, 2.3k, Gen]

Czernobog and the Zoryas arrive in the New World.

This was a last-minute pinch-hit. I only went for it because I'd recently read American Gods, and I had experienced hitherto unforeseen levels of frustration that we didn't get to see Czernobog's arrival story. Plus, I wanted to work something festive into it.

*

the old things fade Yuletide treat for jengrrl
[Låt den rätte komma in | Let the Right One In (2008), Rated PG, <1k, Gen]

Eli and Oskar, post-film.

Something that bugged me about the end of the film was, weirdly, the hopefulness of it all. My first thought was that those small moments of bliss wouldn't last, that change would slowly creep in and make the happiness fade away. And I saw this little treat as a chance to have a first go at that. I still think there's more to be said here, and reading the wiki info on the book and how it differs from the film was intriguing. Once I've had a chance to compare and contrast for myself, I think I might revisit this topic again, in more depth.

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Non-Yuletide 2009:

March
- History, in parts: [B5] John and Delenn and editing.
- Winter: [Alias] Irina bides her time.

April
- the root of all things: [Carnivale] She's not a mother to him; it's never been as simple as that.
- Pay no attention to the masked man: [Transmetropolitan/Watchmen] Someone familiar shows up in the City.
- Ambition: [Deadwood] Silas and Dan have a little talk.
- Method Acting: [Alias RPF] Victor likes Ron just fine. Sloane's another matter entirely.

June
- Three Fates, Waiting: [ST:TOS/Blake's 7] When Jim Kirk is six years old, his parents make a deal on his behalf.

July
- Zero Sum: [Watchmen/The West Wing] darlas_mom requested Adrian Veidt (Watchmen) & Jed Bartlet (The West Wing). Some strange sort of fusion then occurred.
- the universal wolf: [Sweeney Todd RPF] Yuletide NYR. Maybe it's just him getting older. Maybe man wasn't meant to film musicals at this age.

August
- Delenn's 3 bits of sexual trivia [B5] meme response.
- G'Kar's 3 bits of sexual trivia [B5] meme response.
- Untitled snippet: [Harry Potter] Marauders-era genderswap crack.

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You will notice that fic-producing dropped off dramatically after August (i.e. disappeared entirely until yuletide). This is partly due to the second half of 2009 being really quite shit. Nevertheless, I must also point out that the first half of 2009 was rather wonderful. So, instead of doing a balanced "what was good and what was bad" sort of post that will depress me, I'm going to list 10 things (in no particular order) that were really good about 2009:

1. My job was made permanent!
2. I travelled! To many places! One of which was on my list of 'places to go before I die'!
3. I saw friends I haven't seen in years and made new ones!
4. On a material note, I have a new mattress! (This results in me getting a good night's sleep!)
5. My brother has a job! OK, it's a stop-gap job until he's actually doing a job, but he's in employment!
6. I've joined a gym! And am still attending! This means I can run for the bus without having a heart attack!
7. My parents are healthy! And the bits that aren't are not too bad and scheduled for fixing!
8. I'm still studying Arabic! And some of it is finally sinking in!
9. I qualified! And joined the Institute! And have letters after my name!
10. It snowed on New Year's!!

So, what will 2010 look like? My 2009 NYR are here. I can say that I probably didn't leave work at work - it has a tendency to follow me home and I feed it and then it never leaves - but I did go out, and I did read, and I did have fun. Less so in the last few months, but more than 2008. So.

NYR 2010:
1. It has become an old stand-by: read 50 books.
2. Stand up for myself at work, and not let it eat up my life by having it take up every spare moment.
3. Make the most of travelling, and add in a little extra when I am out there.
4. Carry on with Arabic.
5. Go out more. Do more things. Don't let work take over. (I think it bears saying twice.)

- Saw The Observer at the National Theatre last night - excellent production, provocative and thoughtful.

- Have introduced athena25 to the joys of Veronica Mars, I stand triumphant.

- Gossip Girl is making me insanely happy right now. And making me crave Laduree macaroons like a crazy pregnant woman.

- Speaking of, someone brought in their baby to work yesterday, and I got him for close to twenty minutes. He was adorable, but seemed to be under the impression that I was edible (or at least my fingers, which were admittedly wearing coral nail lacquer and therefore could well have resembled sweeties). I also got to impart sage toothing advice: frozen bananas.

- And something else, that is so AMAZING I can't quite speak about it yet lest it dissolve in my greedy little hands. *clutches it tightly to my bosom*

I had a very relaxed day today. Haircut, facial, watching DSN with queenspanky and drooling over Bareil. You know, the usual.

My daddy is in hospital at the moment, having a routine op. It went fine, he's awake and I'm going to see him tomorrow. He still doesn't like hospitals much, but I think the whole thing gets less traumatic as it goes on. Also, better routine op now than emergency op later, which he had to agree with.

Am seeing a whole bunch of friends this week, it's quite strange how full my diary looks. Also Cute Handyman called for no apparent reason to arrange a time to fit the new shower that athena25 has been asking for. Why he's calling me rather than her, I am not sure about.

I had a nice surprise today. I was in Aldo, trying on shoes and lamenting the fate of my brown leather slingback wedges (the thin elastic on the buckle snapped), and the manager heard me and asked me to bring them in for a refund/replacement. Which is lovely, really, as they are from last year and I totally wasn't expecting it. I guess people can really surprise you.

Tomorrow I'm visiting my daddy and writing my multiverse fic (I have an idea, and some stuff hand-written, but it's still too crowbar-y for my tastes) and then seeing Terminator with my brother. I have been warned that there are Terminator motorcycles, and... really, there's just no excuse for that sort of behaviour.

Oh, yes, I almost forgot - I picked up my Arabic certificate today, I passed Level 1. :) Now I just have to make sure I don't forget it all before classes start up again in November...