kangeiko: "i capture the castle" first line (literary indulgence)
So, if you've had the misfortune to be anywhere near me during the last five years, you may have been subjected to one or more of the following:
1) complaints that I am tired,
2) complaints that I can't breathe properly,
3) complaints that I can't hold my alcohol,
4) complaints that I am in a permanent bad mood,
5) complaints that I feel stupid.

I spent quite a bit of Xmas in hospital being prodded by an ENT specialist, who was able to tell me within ten minutes that this is entirely due to a chest infection I had five years ago that closed off several important pieces of my innards (including sinuses, airways, all optional stuff like that) and that I have lived the last five years with the oxygen intake of someone at the top of Kilimanjaro. THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. It explains the giddiness, the tiredness, the mood swings, the breathlessness, the susceptibility to infection, every bloody thing. It even explains why my alcohol tolerance disappeared entirely for no apparent reason, and why my energy levels dropped dramatically and never picked up again. SO. Now that I have a diagnosis, I also have a treatment plan (FUCKING STRONG ANTIBIOTICS to combat stuff - I remember these fuckers, they pumped me full of the stuff when I had pneumonia - and three other things all designed to open an airway). I have to take all of this for a month (it's a pain, bc it takes half an hour to do everything, morning and night), and then, hopefully, I will have... air. AIR, YOU GUYS! The first kick of the drugs left me oxygen-drunk, I sat around giggling to myself and inhaling all the way down to my toes.

The bad news is, if they don't work (i.e. if things revert after a couple of months) I'm gonna need to have surgery to reconstruct an airway. BUT THAT'S OK BC THEY WILL WORK AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.

You have no idea of the relief I felt at being told all this. I'd convinced myself it was all in my head, that it was psychosomatic and I just had to get on with it. I got more and more frustrated that I had no energy, that I couldn't sleep well, that I couldn't even inhale properly. AND NOW THERE IS A REASON! IDEK, my head exploded from relief.


Uh, other stuff. [livejournal.com profile] itinerant_vae told me I'd been recced, which was v flattering, especially as I wrote that fic on a whim and fully expected everyone in fandom to hate it. (Why, yes, I did write dark!fic for a sitcom, what's your point?)

Other writing I have done - 3 yuletide fics, which I found a struggle considering that my lungs were really packing up by that point. I'm glad that I perserved, though, even if they are a bit random.

Uh, I also found an old Angel/Spike fic I wrote eons ago and never posted, so that's up at AO3 now. [ Oubliette ] It occurs to me that once I finish importing all my fic to AO3, I will have c. 350 fics. This is weird. I don't feel like I've written much stuff, but I guess I must have. Well, I'm signed up to 3 separate fanfic 100 challenges (Londo, Arvin/Jack, and 100fandoms), so there's plenty of fic to come from those. Anyway, it just feels a bit weird.

Finally, I've written the first second third fourth draft of the Sherlock fic I owe for [livejournal.com profile] help_pakistan . I have the final beta notes now, and will be working on finishing that up before the New Year. It's not quite what I intended to write when I started out, but then again these things rarely are.

Um -

May. 10th, 2010 12:25 pm
kangeiko: (wasting time online)

Well, I have failed on the health front. I have gastroenteritis, and also a back complaint of some description. I have codeine for the latter, and bed rest for the former, antibiotics and codeine being unmixy things. Am working from home, but cannot feel fingers or toes, so this should be interesting. Typing on the iphone's tiny keyboard is hilarious.

In conclusion, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

kangeiko: (Default)
I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a room screaming "I've been hurt, look after me!" and everyone is looking the other way. Anyway. I guess I'm mostly back on my feet, and I feel somewhat triumphant that I have overcome one of my "living alone" fears - that I will get sick and not be able to cope. It was horrible, I grant you, but I got over it just fine. I think I will have zero sympathy for anyone who dares to snivel at me that they feel down or depressed or sick. I don't care. If I can do it, I don't see why I should bother making anyone else tea.

On a more serious note, I haven't been that sick for that long for a while. It wasn't fun, let's not do that again.


I'm going back in to work tomorrow. Not entirely sure if I'm up to being upright for that long, but we shall see. I head off to Zambia in just over a week, so I need to be fully recovered for that.


May. 21st, 2009 01:25 pm
kangeiko: (Default)
I've been laid up in bed with 'flu and a lung infection for the last week or so. Yup, that's right - 'flu AND a lung infection. My doctor said he was very disappointed in me, it's like my immune system isn't even trying.

I'm still weak as a kitten, but at least I have triumphed over the twin peaks of Eating (tm) and Sleeping (tm). Lack of Disgustingness in my Lungs (tm) looms on the horizon. I should be back on my feet by the end of the weekend, apparently.

Other stuff happened this week that is much worse, but this stupid illness made it all the more horrible. If I'm out of touch for a bit it's because I'm trying to wrap my brain around it. Or because my doctor has given up and had me dissected.
kangeiko: (Default)
The Bad: Visit to my dentist following endless migraines have revealed the root (duh duh) of the problem: wisdom tooth coming through, lower left, has no room to come out, and is aimed diagonally into the root of the adjacent tooth. It's never going to emerge, it's just going to be stupidly painful until it's taken out. So I have a referral to the hospital, and probably dental surgery in about two month. Joy. At least I have painkillers and antibiotics until then.

The Good: No, there is no good here. I'm in pain and it's not making for a whole lot of good.

The WTF: so, I'm watching SPN through a strange route, i.e. Watchmen -> Jeffrey Dean Morgan -> SPN, which is strange, 'cause I haven't really been a fan of SPN or JDM in the past. But Watchmen has made me susceptible, plus he totally fits my physical 'type' (tall, dark, broad-shouldered, smirk, and/or cigar: so, Mr Big (Sex and the City), Tony Stark (Iron Man), Comedian (Watchmen), Raul Julia (Addams Family), Dom Torreto (TFATF - no, I have no shame), Pierce Brosnan (shut up) and, now, it appears: John Winchester. Le sigh).

Anyway. My brain wants to write gen fic, of course, because it always does that when it wanders into fandoms with hardcore tentacle/rape/incest. Specifically, John Winchester's kids get snatched by... something, and he's trying to get them back, when he runs across someone similarly stealthy and broad-shouldered, by the name of Jack, who is also trying to get his daughter out of the clutches of... something. And Rambaldi's involved in some way, plus Jack and John drink whiskey and shoot things. And Sydney is about five years older than Dean and so totally doesn't shag him, because she's really into Vaughn, and anyway, he's about a foot shorter than her. Plus, she's too busy with the whole 'engineering an escape' thing, but Dean and Sam aren't really slouches in that department, as it turns out, and she thinks that maybe that family is even more dysfunctional than her own. She's not entirely sure why that makes her feel so much better.

And it's all going great, really - the kids get out, and Jack and John clear up the whatever, which Jack thinks is Rambaldi-related, and John thinks is demon related, but as it turns out, decapitation works whatever the species. And they go crash at the same motel, because there's safety in numbers, which is when the demon/bad guy thingie's reinforcements arrive. Plus Arvin Sloane. In a helicopter. And Jack thinks that Dean sounds far too much like Sark, which Dean thinks is a compliment, until Sydney explains, no, no, really not, shut up time now. And then explosions happen, plus there's Arvin Sloane in a helicopter. And then Sydney kisses Dean, because if this was an episode, that would totally happen.

And then all daddies concerned take their offspring home, and then there is possibly a dinner of some sort.

But when John goes to ground, he totally calls on Sydney's help. And then when Sydney and Vaughn are trying to disappear, Sam and Dean work their 'don't notice us, we're perfectly normal' mojo, until some demon-related nonsense springs up when baby!Jack is six months old, and it turns out that YED's plans have been taken up by Lilith.

And then there's more explosions.

As it turns out, I don't have an SPN icon, so can't write the above. Woe. Someone else totally should, though.

Did I mention I have new teeth drugs? Lots of new drugs. They are lovely. Mmmmm.


Apr. 16th, 2009 07:43 pm
kangeiko: (Default)
I got a little slip of paper today that invited me to sign on the dotted line and have my contract become permanent. *does dance of BIG FUCKING JOY*

Does this make me ridiculously, stupidly, helplessly happy? HELL YEAH. I was gonna try for nonchalance but given the current economic climate (a phrase that seems to precede every. single. fucking. opinion I issue), I am ready to celebrate being employed by spending some of my hard-earned cash on helping the economy recover. Through the purchase of shoes. And sex toys.


Because there was a big 'yay', there has to be a little 'boo'. My wisdom teeth have attempted to emerge from their corral once again. Previously kept at bay by a small amount of space made available through root canal (yes, it was in the middle of my finals, why do you ask?), they have staged a rebellion and are attempting to emerge. Slight issue: there is no room. None. Prior X-rays showed that they are too close to several rather crucial nerves, and so surgical removal is also not so hot an option. I have a dentist's appointment on Monday to see if the situation has changed at all in the last few years.


Meanwhile, I ate my weight in food that is either sugary, fatty or otherwise bad for me. This has to stop, seriously. I tried to be good at work today - had cereal for breakfast, hard-boiled egg for lunch, soy yoghurt for a snack. This was somewhat ruined by the fact that I apparently looked pale enough for a ghost, or for someone nursing wisdom tooth pain. My colleagues were lovely, and responded by getting me: chocolate, pastries, and an orange balloon. (The balloon was lovely, and non-fattening.) I also made wounded faces and rubbed my head a lot (not consciously, you understand, but I do have Work!Mummy and Work!Daddy hovering like concerned Work!Parents), and was sent home like a sleepy child to have a nap. I apparently aimed for 'professional', but hit 'endearing' instead.

For the moment, permanent contract in hand... it'll do.
kangeiko: (Default)
Read more... )

ETA: following fortifying talk from [livejournal.com profile] queenspanky, the party will be happening. Mainly because she will be on hand to do all the difficult bits. Plus the bathroom's already cleaned, and the shopping's already done. So there is that. If people get tired, there will be beds for to sleep. Yes.

Speaking of sleep...
kangeiko: (atia of the julii)
I had a nap in the middle of the afternoon that seemed to help. Then I was awake for four hours, and all the benefits of the nap went away. So all I need to do to survive work tomorrow is sleep for two hours after working for four. That's manageable, right? *contemplates the couch in boss's office* Anyway, it's vaguely reassuring to know that I'm continuing the time-honoured tradition of being ill over Xmas. My parents must look forward to making me gallons of soup every year.

I can't even beg off work tomorrow, even though I feel wretched and will likely feel worse in the morning. The guy I have a meeting with travelled in from bullet-ridden places and spent 24 hours travelling, whereas I only have to survive 45 minutes on the Northern line. It somehow seems churlish to cancel.

In other news, I have secured my pinch-hit, yay! Also written down my list of Yuletide Treats I'll be thinking of writing. Not entirely sure how much I'll get done as I'm working until 4pm Xmas eve, but luckily with the coughing-up-a-lung/fever/cramps/dizziness also comes insomnia, so I guess it'll be a toss-up. I wrote 3 stories last year and the year before, and I want to do at least as many this year.

Anyone fancy an uber-fast beta for me? It's likely that about half my flist will be familiar with the fandom, so those are pretty good odds, I think. If not, I shall partake of #yuletide tomorrow/Tues eve.

*stares at bed* Is there any way I can make myself fall asleep before I start coughing and never stop?


Dec. 8th, 2008 12:27 am
kangeiko: (atia of the julii)
Today: still sick with the bastard flu.

Tomorrow: solid 14 hours of accountancy revision.

Tuesday: final accountancy exam. Then Arabic revision in the evening.

Wednesday: solid 10 hours of writing a report for work. Then Arabic revision in the evening.

Thursday: Hand in report, draft guidelines for budgeting for 19 offices. Then Arabic exam in the evening.

Friday: post guidelines for budgeting to offices. Then HIV prevention training. Then train to Edinburgh. Draft [livejournal.com profile] yuletide story on train. Then drinks with bride-and groom-to-be in the evening.

Saturday: best mate's wedding. In December. In fucking Edinburgh. In -1million F weather. With possibility of icicles where I once had toes.

Sunday: finish drafting [livejournal.com profile] yuletide story. Then train back to London. Reattach toes. Back to work on Monday.

Did I mention that I have the bastard fucking flu? Not a cold, not the sniffles, fucking influenza. I am upright by sheer fucking willpower. Whatever it was that I did to whoever it is up there, I'm sorry. Please to be applying brakes soon, y/y?

*is hanging on by a thread*
kangeiko: (naked)
I appear to no longer be water-tight. The main culprits are my nose and tear ducts, but I am also going to the loo every half-hour. Mmmm, sexy. It all leads me to believe that my horrid cold from exam-time has made a return (via the hideously useful course I was on, which contained enough people from across the country to bring me all new and exciting germs). I am fighting back with soup, lemsip and strepsils, although they appear to be having a limited effect. Last night was not fun, of the TMI variety. )

Anyway, I hope to be better reasonably soon. It's a cold, after all, albeit a really annoying one, and it started Thursday/Friday, so hopefully I'll be human by Xmas.

Now, I have to go to the loo again. It's been a whole twenty minutes. *sigh*
kangeiko: (Default)

My left hand is in a brace, and mostly unuseable. I was writing a reply to [livejournal.com profile] erykah101, and it fucking HURT.  Last night, my wrist hurt. During the night, even more. Today, even more. Went to doctor.

"You're exacerbated your carpel tunnel through LIVING. Wear this brace until you're 150 years old."

I hate my life.


Jul. 29th, 2007 09:51 pm
kangeiko: (naked)
Hmmm. The wounds on my leg appear to be turning green. Well, some of them. And swelling. I'm going to go out on a limb (hah! see what I did there??) and say that this is Not Good (tm).

However, given that I am neither dead nor approaching it, I find the following unlikely:
1) tetanus
2) septocaemia
3) anything serious.

It's all because I was running around all week, and not really staying in bed sipping orange juice and keeping my leg elevated. The NHS direct person yelled at me for a while and then ordered me to a doctor.

Woe. I suck at being invalid-like.

However! I have new underwear. And we can all agree that this is clearly more important than non-gangrenous wounds.
kangeiko: (Default)
I fell down the fucking stairs at work. Or, to be precise, down the escalator at the station immediately outside my office. I have:

- no skin on my left leg
- lots of blood, inside and outside my body, and all around my bandages
- bruises swelling my calf and shin to the size of a watermellon

My leg is luckily not broken, although I have annoying bruising and have twisted my knee so it's v. difficult to walk, let alone manage stairs. My shoes and trousers will not make it.


I'm at home, now, with an ice pack, gauze and painkillers, and reading comics. That is all.
kangeiko: (Default)
I do not have a cold.

I have a chest infection and an armful of antibiotics.

([livejournal.com profile] erykah101, love, I'm very sorry, but I will likely bedead on Friday, and unable to manage dancing. Would you like to come around to me? It will be lurgy-ridden, so I can entirely understand if you'd rather stay germ-free, but, well...)
kangeiko: (Default)
It's officially Boxing Day, although I'm not counting it as such until some actual sleep takes place.

home-related things - health, family, etc. )

Anyway. Much turkey was eaten. Many chocolates were consumed. I've been occasionally dipping into Yuletide when my brother lets me borrow his laptop. Otherwise, I've read a book and slept.

The book was actually rather nice.

Title: Snow Flower and the Secret Fan
Author: Lisa See

read the detailed review )

Overall, I found Snow Flower an enjoyable read - one that I will be keeping for a re-reading - and it had a great many interesting research points that I am keen to follow up on. Recommended to anyone interested in women's histories.
kangeiko: (Default)
1. The echocardiagram went well. There were some initial blips (and, also, the jelly was cold and icky) that made the attending frown a lot, but I've been given a tentative all-clear in terms of structural damage, providing that the later follow-up doesn't reveal anything horrid underneath said blips.
2. I'm hooked up to a million wires again, and also I have a box on my hip that bleeps at me occasionally. This is, once more, disconcerting. However, the electrodes are in places less likely to scar, unlike last time (which left scar tissue to deal with, several months later. Bleargh.) which is a blessing.

3. Most important point, OMG. I'm working on the methodology of the never-ending dissertation of DOOM, and require an opinion. I've decided to take Foucault's approach to 'the Gulag question' in examining what functions the Othering of aid receipients serves within a humanitarian aid context. Now, is this just too cheeky for words? Or can I get away with arguing that as previous studies did not examine the functions that Othering serves, they have simply perpetuated the problem?

Or should I just give up and stick my head in a bucket?

(Also, it turns out that Josh Holloway (Sawyer) was in Angel, albeit for just one episode. This is seriously starting to freak me out, guys. A pox on cross-pollination between shows!)
kangeiko: (Default)
It is half past 1. Why can't I sleep? I have stupid early morning meeting tomorrow. Brand new client, must be sparkly and amazing. Something has gone wrong with my head, and not only can I not get to sleep, I can't stay asleep. Me, the queen of the marathon sleep! I've been waking with horrible bloody chest pains all bloody week. I have drugs that are supposed to prevent this sort of thing. What bloody use are they if my chest feels like a hippopotamus has plonked its fat arse across it, eh? I AM NOT AMUSED. GRRRR.
kangeiko: (Default)
I'm having a really weird time at work, like my head isn't quite together at the moment. It's odd and uncomfortable and the irregular hours I'm keeping isn't helping any.

My daddy came home a few days ago, though, very unexpectedly. This makes me happy.

I have also been rewatching the 1995 version of Pride and Prejudice and contemplating my annual rereading. This also makes me happy.

That should outweigh the general ickiness I've been feeling. Right?
kangeiko: (Default)
Written as a belated response to the [livejournal.com profile] alias500 challenge, 'CSI episode titles', but it also fits into my [livejournal.com profile] fanfic100 Jack/Arvin table.

Title: Still Life
Author: [livejournal.com profile] kangeiko
Disclaimer: I own them. No, really. That's why I spend my days as an auditor, instead of in loved-up bliss. Look, would this face lie?
Summary: Sydney goes through the debris of her parents' lives.

[livejournal.com profile] fanfic100 # 24: family


Read more... )

Sorry that I haven't answered emails etc by the way. I rather unexpectedly ended up back at hospital a couple of days ago, and as a result my dosage was increased dramatically. I'm still watching the pretty colours and waving my hands at the walls. Also, off to Rome in a little over a day. I am very excited. I shall reply to emails etc when I return. Love, v.


Jun. 27th, 2006 11:28 am
kangeiko: (Default)
I have a diagnosis ).

My cardiology consultant is hopeful that it's not going to come to that, but I'm not feeling too pleased right now. I went in, fully expecting to be told that it's all in my head or, at most, that's stress-induced. I wasn't expecting an actual physical, you know, thing. So, not in the greatest mood right about now.


kangeiko: (Default)

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