Memes (and fanfic100 b5 fic - #37)
21 Jun 2006 03:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kangeikoI feel heaps better after a long talk with the doctor, and many assurances that I am not crazy. So, anyway, FANDOM!!
From![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
alara_r:
The people -
1. Buffy Summers (BtVS)
2. Jack Bristow (Alias)
3. Spider Jerusalem (Transmetropolitan)
4. Desire (Sandman)
5. Jadzia Dax (DSN)
6. Ilyria (A:tS)
7. CJ Cregg (West Wing)
8. Perry Cox (Scrubs)
9. Dawn Summers (BtVS)
10. Jayne Cobb (Firefly)
11. Susan Ivanova (B5)
12. Irina Derevko (Alias)
13. Arvin Sloane (Alias)
14. Londo Mollari (B5)
15. Inara Serra (Firefly)
The questions:
Okay, 12 and 7 get married and move in together. What kind of home would they live in? Who will decorate the house and would either of them be tempted to have an affair with 1?
If Irina Derevko and CJ Cregg got married and moved in together, they'd live in a tiny, chic apartment in DC, so that CJ could get to the White House for 7am each morning and Irina would be able to teach at Johns Hopkins, where she'll have Zoe Bartlett for a class or sixteen. The apartment will have a big bed, and two bathrooms (because, well, women), and will ber perfectly turned out because they'll have hire to hire someone to keep it clean 'cause of the uber-busy.
Irina will decorate the house, as CJ will be busy at the White House, but she'll guilt CJ over it, and CJ will tell her all about her own day to justify the fact that she's working 24/7, and also would be oblivious to the fact that Irina seduced young transfer student Buffy Summers the previous spring break when CJ was in Taiwan.
1, 4, 8 & 13 falls through a dimensional portal leading to the Star Wars universe. What will they do until they gets back home? Also, will they work as a team or will they try to kill each other?
Buffy Summers, Desire, Perry Cox and Arvin Sloane fall through to the Star Wars universe. This is entirely Andrew's fault, except the bits that are JD's fault. Really, it's the fault of both of them, because put two geeks together and you can only get Star Wars. Anyway, Sloane thought it was a Rambaldi artefact, and Desire's just playing, and in pretty short order Sloane notices just how Sydney this blonde young woman really is. How strong. How capable. How scantily dressed.
Until their inevitable return, Buffy will kill monsters, Sloane will be clever, Perry will be sarcastic, and Desire will be very amused indeed. They'll probably work together - after all, they need to kill JD and Andrew.
If 2 and 7 went out to dinner, where would they go, what would they eat, and what would they do afterwards?
If Jack Bristow and CJ Cregg went out to dinner (OMG, my brain is melting from the HOT!), they'd go to a quiet little restaurant that's out of the way and unlikely to be full of paparazzi. CJ would have a salad, Jack would have steak, and they'd have fabulous wine. They'd talk politely about inconsequential things that wouldn't incriminate either one of them, until CJ clocks that this guy has Opinions, and then the shit will hit the fan.
Some time later, they'll hit the bed. What, you were expecting anything else? CJ! Jack!
What kind of a pet would 9 have?
Dawn? Dawn would have a guineapig. Or a fire-breathing... something. You know, whichever. Also, does Andrew count?
How might 6 manage to badly offend 2, and what would 2 do about it?
Hmmmm. Well, Ilyria might see Sydney fighting and comment on how inadequate she is - that would certainly piss Jack off! He would be very, very cold with Ilyria, 'cause Jack's no fool and you don't shoot immortal beings. Er.
Due to some plot device, 8 & 11 end up in charge of a baby they're supposed to be jointly responsible for. How do they manage?
Susan and Ivanova and Perry Cox in the same room... *dies from the snark* erm. OK, Susan delegates to Perry, who is actually rather good with babies, while Susan herself fixes the quantum Minbari thingimajic that'll get them back to their correct timelines. Howzat?
It's up to 13 & 15 to save the universe! How doomed are we?
Inara and Arvin, to the rescue! I wouldn't worry. If the universe explodes, it'll likely take Sydney and Jack with it, which means that Arvin will save the day. Also, Inara is rather good in a pinch, surprisingly - she's smart, and she can see through lies.
1 asks for 3's hand in marriage. How does 3 react? And what possessed 1, anyway?
Well, it's like this. When Buffy wakes up, she's in the City, and there's no way for her to get back. Except, of course, through Magic Portal #456, which she can only get to via, erm, Plot Device. Therefore, she marries Spider in a hurry, saves the day and gets back to SunnyD - immediately after an annulment, of course. Spider was most annoyed about that, but seeing as how Buffy kept threatening to call Yelena, he figured he was best rid of her.
3, 5, and 10 have gotten into a hair-pulling (where hair applies) knock-down drag-out fight ... for the silliest reason imaginable. Who are they, and what was the reason for the fight?
Spider, Jadzia and Jayne walk into a bar - and it's downhill from there. They are all firmly convinced that they have the biggest balls, Jadzia most of all.
She wins, of course. Because she's just that good.
a) What kind of nut is #7?
CJ is, hmmm, macadamia.
b) What kind of cheese is #3?
Spider? Erm, one of the stinky ones. Nothing too posh, mind!
c) What kind of herb is #12?
Irina is, eeerrrrrr, mint?
d) What shape of pasta is #9
The twirly one! Dawn is definitely a twirly kind of pasta.
e) Would #15 have ANY IDEA why all of the four above things are related, and if so, could he or she make it? Would it be edible? (Pesto sauce and pasta)
Inara would have no idea, but would probably be able to make a decent Protein #56 out of it.
2, 10, 12 and 15 are in a car* together. Who drives, who is in the passenger seat and where are they going? (*or similar small vehicle)
Jack, Jayne, Irina and Inara are in Inara's shuttle, because some crazy Rambaldi device dumped the Bristows several hundred years into the future. Inara is driving because it's her shuttle, Jayne is scowling at Jack and Irina and playing with his knife, and Jack thinks that this is all Sloane's fault. He's right, of course.
1 and 5 are getting into politics together. How might they achieve their goals through a democratic forum?
Buffy and Jadzia enter politics, through, er, a platform of Take Back the Night and Miniskirts For All. Actually, that's a big lie, it's not Jadzia at all, but it is Dax, and Buffy is actually quite willing to lend a hand.
No, I don't understand this question. Buffy + politics = my brain hurts.
3, 7, 8 and 11 are stranded on a hospitable but uninhabited planet. What is their situation a year later?
Spider, CJ, Perry Cox and Ivanova are stranded. Hmmmm. One year later, they've been rescued by virtue of the fact that CJ and Ivanova rock and are highly organised. By combining Spider's many gadgets and Ivanova's commlink, they're able to reach B5, which, in turn, gets US military support from the Bartlett administration to launch an effective rescue mission. Meanwhile, Perry, as the doctor, keeps everyone alive through broken bones and other mishaps, Spider catalogues it all, and is also able to catch small animals. Of course, he doesn't eat them. No. You don't want to know what he does with them.
4 challenges 14 to a duel. What happens, and why did they challenge?
Desire challenges Londo Mollari to a duel. Desire wins. THE END.
Right, well, Londo makes the mistake of arguing with G'Kar and saying that he has given up Desire for duty and love of the state instead. Of course, it's some strange Keeper-induced craziness, but G'kar is pissed all the same. So is Desire, actually, and s/he demands Dream's help and gives Londo a dream to remember. It's an odd dream - compelling, of course - but G'kar's eyes glow, gold and cat-like, in the darkness.
3&4 and 7&9 team up to compete against each other. What would the game (sport? challenge?) be, which team would win, and why?
Spider and Desire compete against CJ and Perry in a big debate. I think that it would be a draw, actually: Perry is pants at public speaking, and Desire probably wouldn't pay much attention to it and attempt to distract CJ, but, in the end, given Desire's distracting abilities, Spider's genius and the fact that CJ is, well, CJ, yeah, I'm calling it a draw.
It's 2008. 1 has decided to run for president, with 3 as his/her running mate. Opposing him/her is 13, with 6 as his/her running mate. Who wins, and why - and what happens after they take power?
Buffy is running for president, with Spider as her running mate. Opposing her is Arvin Sloane, with Ilyria as his running mate. Sloane wins - well, he's a genius, and Ilyria is a god-king who can look like a small and helpless little Fred when the need strikes. Also, Buffy has another job - a rather more demanding job! And Spider was only doing it to gather information on Sloane, anyway, but he gets distracted by Ilyria.
After Sloane wins, he spends some time being amazed at the gullibility of the electorate. Spy, Eeeeeebil Mastermind, philanthropist, president - yep, not too far a stretch.
Of course, this is set post-finale, and what he doesn't count on is the fact that Buffy was only running to keep an eye on him. Didn't he die, she wonders, and is approached shortly after by a man named Jack, who has some unfinished business...
1, 4, 7, 12, 15 are playing poker. Who cheats, who wins, and who is a sore loser? What other antics ensue?
Buffy, Desire, CJ, Irina and Inara are playing poker. It's like some intergalatic girls' night, or something. Desire cheats, and Irina wins anyway - but Inara doesn't do too badly. CJ holds her own, Desire was only playing with the players, not the game, and Buffy keeps having to excuse herself and kill things. Desire doesn't get to play with any of them, and is a very sore loser. Crazy mad sapphic action ensues, which is swiftly chalked up to a hallucination by all concerned shortly after.
5, 9, 10 get some how stuck in a subway train. What happens?
Jadzia, Dawn and Jayne get stuck in a subway train. Zombies attack. Jayne kills them. Jadzia gets the train moving again. Dawn realises that they're after her, and does some mojo to get rid of them.
J&J have mad crazy fun. Also, with Dawn. What?!
5 or 7 are going to become the next prez. You get to choice. Who and Why?
Jadzia or CJ? CJ. Because she's smart - yes, ok, so it Jadzia - but she also cares about the things that I care about, and her politics are in line with mine, and also Jadzia couldn't be prsident as she wasn't born in the USA. Also, CJ has all that useful training, what with being in TWW and all. And, anyway, I prefer Jadzia as her chief of staff.
If there's anyone in the list whose number has not been named, what does that person sing when in the shower (or whatever his/her species nearest equivalent might be)? (If every number has at least one question, apply this to whomever would have the most interesting answer)
*
Londo sings opera in the bath. He actually has a very nice voice, deep and surprisingly full of life. It surprises G'Kar somewhat, as he'd been formerly of the opinion that Centauri opera was a wailing, terrible assault on the ears, and that Mollari's voice would be as high-pitched and screeching as a woman's. Certainly he did not think that he would be lying in Mollari's bed, idly shredding the silk sheets between his fingers, waiting for the water to stop running and for Londo to emerge.
"Do you plan on staying in there until you boil, Mollari?" He called eventually. The heavy silk privacy curtain rustled as Londo snagged it and drew it aside. He was sat, perfectly comfortable, in the deep tub, his head resting on the lacquered black block designed to keep his ridiculous hairdo out of the water's way.
"I am marinating, G'kar," Londo corrected him. "Back when the Empire was new, Emperors could spend their entire day in their bathchambers, marinating." He waved a hand vaguely, and G'kar was assailed by the heavy perfume that Mollari customarily wore. "A Centauri's toilette is a delicate, time-consuming thing. You must have patience."
I must have smelling salts, G'kar thought, but said nothing. He leaned back on the bed, almost sinking in all the ridiculously soft bedding. He might as well make the best of this - if Londo intended to spend the day bathing, there would be no visit to or by the Royal Court. In short, bliss.
G'kar rolled on to his back, closing his eyes and listening to Londo work his way through a respectable aria.
*
Finally of all fifteen...who would you pick to babysit?
That depends - how old's the nipper?? If it's a teen, Buffy or Dawn or CJ. If it's a baby, then Irina or Inara. If it's being hunted by teh evil, then Buffy or Arvin.
From
alara_r:The people -
1. Buffy Summers (BtVS)
2. Jack Bristow (Alias)
3. Spider Jerusalem (Transmetropolitan)
4. Desire (Sandman)
5. Jadzia Dax (DSN)
6. Ilyria (A:tS)
7. CJ Cregg (West Wing)
8. Perry Cox (Scrubs)
9. Dawn Summers (BtVS)
10. Jayne Cobb (Firefly)
11. Susan Ivanova (B5)
12. Irina Derevko (Alias)
13. Arvin Sloane (Alias)
14. Londo Mollari (B5)
15. Inara Serra (Firefly)
The questions:
Okay, 12 and 7 get married and move in together. What kind of home would they live in? Who will decorate the house and would either of them be tempted to have an affair with 1?
If Irina Derevko and CJ Cregg got married and moved in together, they'd live in a tiny, chic apartment in DC, so that CJ could get to the White House for 7am each morning and Irina would be able to teach at Johns Hopkins, where she'll have Zoe Bartlett for a class or sixteen. The apartment will have a big bed, and two bathrooms (because, well, women), and will ber perfectly turned out because they'll have hire to hire someone to keep it clean 'cause of the uber-busy.
Irina will decorate the house, as CJ will be busy at the White House, but she'll guilt CJ over it, and CJ will tell her all about her own day to justify the fact that she's working 24/7, and also would be oblivious to the fact that Irina seduced young transfer student Buffy Summers the previous spring break when CJ was in Taiwan.
1, 4, 8 & 13 falls through a dimensional portal leading to the Star Wars universe. What will they do until they gets back home? Also, will they work as a team or will they try to kill each other?
Buffy Summers, Desire, Perry Cox and Arvin Sloane fall through to the Star Wars universe. This is entirely Andrew's fault, except the bits that are JD's fault. Really, it's the fault of both of them, because put two geeks together and you can only get Star Wars. Anyway, Sloane thought it was a Rambaldi artefact, and Desire's just playing, and in pretty short order Sloane notices just how Sydney this blonde young woman really is. How strong. How capable. How scantily dressed.
Until their inevitable return, Buffy will kill monsters, Sloane will be clever, Perry will be sarcastic, and Desire will be very amused indeed. They'll probably work together - after all, they need to kill JD and Andrew.
If 2 and 7 went out to dinner, where would they go, what would they eat, and what would they do afterwards?
If Jack Bristow and CJ Cregg went out to dinner (OMG, my brain is melting from the HOT!), they'd go to a quiet little restaurant that's out of the way and unlikely to be full of paparazzi. CJ would have a salad, Jack would have steak, and they'd have fabulous wine. They'd talk politely about inconsequential things that wouldn't incriminate either one of them, until CJ clocks that this guy has Opinions, and then the shit will hit the fan.
Some time later, they'll hit the bed. What, you were expecting anything else? CJ! Jack!
What kind of a pet would 9 have?
Dawn? Dawn would have a guineapig. Or a fire-breathing... something. You know, whichever. Also, does Andrew count?
How might 6 manage to badly offend 2, and what would 2 do about it?
Hmmmm. Well, Ilyria might see Sydney fighting and comment on how inadequate she is - that would certainly piss Jack off! He would be very, very cold with Ilyria, 'cause Jack's no fool and you don't shoot immortal beings. Er.
Due to some plot device, 8 & 11 end up in charge of a baby they're supposed to be jointly responsible for. How do they manage?
Susan and Ivanova and Perry Cox in the same room... *dies from the snark* erm. OK, Susan delegates to Perry, who is actually rather good with babies, while Susan herself fixes the quantum Minbari thingimajic that'll get them back to their correct timelines. Howzat?
It's up to 13 & 15 to save the universe! How doomed are we?
Inara and Arvin, to the rescue! I wouldn't worry. If the universe explodes, it'll likely take Sydney and Jack with it, which means that Arvin will save the day. Also, Inara is rather good in a pinch, surprisingly - she's smart, and she can see through lies.
1 asks for 3's hand in marriage. How does 3 react? And what possessed 1, anyway?
Well, it's like this. When Buffy wakes up, she's in the City, and there's no way for her to get back. Except, of course, through Magic Portal #456, which she can only get to via, erm, Plot Device. Therefore, she marries Spider in a hurry, saves the day and gets back to SunnyD - immediately after an annulment, of course. Spider was most annoyed about that, but seeing as how Buffy kept threatening to call Yelena, he figured he was best rid of her.
3, 5, and 10 have gotten into a hair-pulling (where hair applies) knock-down drag-out fight ... for the silliest reason imaginable. Who are they, and what was the reason for the fight?
Spider, Jadzia and Jayne walk into a bar - and it's downhill from there. They are all firmly convinced that they have the biggest balls, Jadzia most of all.
She wins, of course. Because she's just that good.
a) What kind of nut is #7?
CJ is, hmmm, macadamia.
b) What kind of cheese is #3?
Spider? Erm, one of the stinky ones. Nothing too posh, mind!
c) What kind of herb is #12?
Irina is, eeerrrrrr, mint?
d) What shape of pasta is #9
The twirly one! Dawn is definitely a twirly kind of pasta.
e) Would #15 have ANY IDEA why all of the four above things are related, and if so, could he or she make it? Would it be edible? (Pesto sauce and pasta)
Inara would have no idea, but would probably be able to make a decent Protein #56 out of it.
2, 10, 12 and 15 are in a car* together. Who drives, who is in the passenger seat and where are they going? (*or similar small vehicle)
Jack, Jayne, Irina and Inara are in Inara's shuttle, because some crazy Rambaldi device dumped the Bristows several hundred years into the future. Inara is driving because it's her shuttle, Jayne is scowling at Jack and Irina and playing with his knife, and Jack thinks that this is all Sloane's fault. He's right, of course.
1 and 5 are getting into politics together. How might they achieve their goals through a democratic forum?
Buffy and Jadzia enter politics, through, er, a platform of Take Back the Night and Miniskirts For All. Actually, that's a big lie, it's not Jadzia at all, but it is Dax, and Buffy is actually quite willing to lend a hand.
No, I don't understand this question. Buffy + politics = my brain hurts.
3, 7, 8 and 11 are stranded on a hospitable but uninhabited planet. What is their situation a year later?
Spider, CJ, Perry Cox and Ivanova are stranded. Hmmmm. One year later, they've been rescued by virtue of the fact that CJ and Ivanova rock and are highly organised. By combining Spider's many gadgets and Ivanova's commlink, they're able to reach B5, which, in turn, gets US military support from the Bartlett administration to launch an effective rescue mission. Meanwhile, Perry, as the doctor, keeps everyone alive through broken bones and other mishaps, Spider catalogues it all, and is also able to catch small animals. Of course, he doesn't eat them. No. You don't want to know what he does with them.
4 challenges 14 to a duel. What happens, and why did they challenge?
Desire challenges Londo Mollari to a duel. Desire wins. THE END.
Right, well, Londo makes the mistake of arguing with G'Kar and saying that he has given up Desire for duty and love of the state instead. Of course, it's some strange Keeper-induced craziness, but G'kar is pissed all the same. So is Desire, actually, and s/he demands Dream's help and gives Londo a dream to remember. It's an odd dream - compelling, of course - but G'kar's eyes glow, gold and cat-like, in the darkness.
3&4 and 7&9 team up to compete against each other. What would the game (sport? challenge?) be, which team would win, and why?
Spider and Desire compete against CJ and Perry in a big debate. I think that it would be a draw, actually: Perry is pants at public speaking, and Desire probably wouldn't pay much attention to it and attempt to distract CJ, but, in the end, given Desire's distracting abilities, Spider's genius and the fact that CJ is, well, CJ, yeah, I'm calling it a draw.
It's 2008. 1 has decided to run for president, with 3 as his/her running mate. Opposing him/her is 13, with 6 as his/her running mate. Who wins, and why - and what happens after they take power?
Buffy is running for president, with Spider as her running mate. Opposing her is Arvin Sloane, with Ilyria as his running mate. Sloane wins - well, he's a genius, and Ilyria is a god-king who can look like a small and helpless little Fred when the need strikes. Also, Buffy has another job - a rather more demanding job! And Spider was only doing it to gather information on Sloane, anyway, but he gets distracted by Ilyria.
After Sloane wins, he spends some time being amazed at the gullibility of the electorate. Spy, Eeeeeebil Mastermind, philanthropist, president - yep, not too far a stretch.
Of course, this is set post-finale, and what he doesn't count on is the fact that Buffy was only running to keep an eye on him. Didn't he die, she wonders, and is approached shortly after by a man named Jack, who has some unfinished business...
1, 4, 7, 12, 15 are playing poker. Who cheats, who wins, and who is a sore loser? What other antics ensue?
Buffy, Desire, CJ, Irina and Inara are playing poker. It's like some intergalatic girls' night, or something. Desire cheats, and Irina wins anyway - but Inara doesn't do too badly. CJ holds her own, Desire was only playing with the players, not the game, and Buffy keeps having to excuse herself and kill things. Desire doesn't get to play with any of them, and is a very sore loser. Crazy mad sapphic action ensues, which is swiftly chalked up to a hallucination by all concerned shortly after.
5, 9, 10 get some how stuck in a subway train. What happens?
Jadzia, Dawn and Jayne get stuck in a subway train. Zombies attack. Jayne kills them. Jadzia gets the train moving again. Dawn realises that they're after her, and does some mojo to get rid of them.
J&J have mad crazy fun. Also, with Dawn. What?!
5 or 7 are going to become the next prez. You get to choice. Who and Why?
Jadzia or CJ? CJ. Because she's smart - yes, ok, so it Jadzia - but she also cares about the things that I care about, and her politics are in line with mine, and also Jadzia couldn't be prsident as she wasn't born in the USA. Also, CJ has all that useful training, what with being in TWW and all. And, anyway, I prefer Jadzia as her chief of staff.
If there's anyone in the list whose number has not been named, what does that person sing when in the shower (or whatever his/her species nearest equivalent might be)? (If every number has at least one question, apply this to whomever would have the most interesting answer)
*
Londo sings opera in the bath. He actually has a very nice voice, deep and surprisingly full of life. It surprises G'Kar somewhat, as he'd been formerly of the opinion that Centauri opera was a wailing, terrible assault on the ears, and that Mollari's voice would be as high-pitched and screeching as a woman's. Certainly he did not think that he would be lying in Mollari's bed, idly shredding the silk sheets between his fingers, waiting for the water to stop running and for Londo to emerge.
"Do you plan on staying in there until you boil, Mollari?" He called eventually. The heavy silk privacy curtain rustled as Londo snagged it and drew it aside. He was sat, perfectly comfortable, in the deep tub, his head resting on the lacquered black block designed to keep his ridiculous hairdo out of the water's way.
"I am marinating, G'kar," Londo corrected him. "Back when the Empire was new, Emperors could spend their entire day in their bathchambers, marinating." He waved a hand vaguely, and G'kar was assailed by the heavy perfume that Mollari customarily wore. "A Centauri's toilette is a delicate, time-consuming thing. You must have patience."
I must have smelling salts, G'kar thought, but said nothing. He leaned back on the bed, almost sinking in all the ridiculously soft bedding. He might as well make the best of this - if Londo intended to spend the day bathing, there would be no visit to or by the Royal Court. In short, bliss.
G'kar rolled on to his back, closing his eyes and listening to Londo work his way through a respectable aria.
*
Finally of all fifteen...who would you pick to babysit?
That depends - how old's the nipper?? If it's a teen, Buffy or Dawn or CJ. If it's a baby, then Irina or Inara. If it's being hunted by teh evil, then Buffy or Arvin.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-06-21 03:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-23 03:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-21 06:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-23 03:08 pm (UTC)and this is different from my own upbringing... how?
okay, no biology involved, but there were KGB agents. And, also, hostages. It'll be like carrying on the family business. or something.