and the horse you came in on
1 Aug 2011 11:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kangeikoSo, today I turned 30. The weekend was horrible, today was even worse. Have spent the last three days in tears. My parents are at their wits end. Everyone else is either ignoring me or has gone away. Possibly this is for the best as I can't interact with anyone, it is exhausting to not be in tears more or less all the time. I strongly suspect that the near-miss on a nervous breakdown I had three years ago will not be a near miss this time around.
Anyway. I turned 30 by spending half the day crying in public while my parents fretted and wrung their hands, and the rest of the day waiting for a plumber who never came, by myself, drinking wine, and eating take-away because there was no food in the house and I couldn't leave it to buy anything because of the afore-mentioned plumber.
Oh, and there's no hot water, so I've been having icy showers in the morning, which has made washing my long hair a particular joy.
In conclusion, you'll forgive me if I ignore the entire world for a bit. I feel like I'm using up the last bits of my energies celebrating the achievements and choices of everyone around me, while they just want me to be miserable a little more quietly. That's not the reality of course, and I am aware that I have a tendency to be passive aggressive when I am down. But it feels like it and it is making everything worse. So I am cancelling everything until further notice. Normal service to be resumed... I don't know. When I am mended.
Anyway. I turned 30 by spending half the day crying in public while my parents fretted and wrung their hands, and the rest of the day waiting for a plumber who never came, by myself, drinking wine, and eating take-away because there was no food in the house and I couldn't leave it to buy anything because of the afore-mentioned plumber.
Oh, and there's no hot water, so I've been having icy showers in the morning, which has made washing my long hair a particular joy.
In conclusion, you'll forgive me if I ignore the entire world for a bit. I feel like I'm using up the last bits of my energies celebrating the achievements and choices of everyone around me, while they just want me to be miserable a little more quietly. That's not the reality of course, and I am aware that I have a tendency to be passive aggressive when I am down. But it feels like it and it is making everything worse. So I am cancelling everything until further notice. Normal service to be resumed... I don't know. When I am mended.