kangeiko

I made this big deal out of sorting out my previous year's registration docs for WorldCon so I could nominate for this year's Hugo Awards, and... I'm a bit lost. This will be the first year I'm nominating, and it's quickly dawning on me that my reading is hopelessly behind and I haven't actually read enough to be able to nominate anything. Maybe for Hugos three or four years in the past, sure. (They should build a time-delay just for me.) I know the easy solution for this is to read recently-released things, but I'd managed to put things in some sort of reading order in a vague attempt to whittle down my TBR pile, and... ok, look, I admit it, I was too ambitious.

I'm still considering going to WorldCon, with a sort of vague longing. I don't think I could manage to go on my own (general stress and anxiety will pretty much put a stop to that), but I don't know anyone else making the journey, so... idk.

I wanted to share a few vids I'm really fond of that were recently uploaded on AO3 (and therefore easily bookmarkable). They're both by laurashapiro  and I've loved them for a long time.

First up -

Transparent (2 words) by Laura Shapiro
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Tara Maclay/Willow Rosenberg, Xander Harris/Willow Rosenberg, Daniel "Oz" Osbourne/Willow Rosenberg
Characters: Willow Rosenberg
Additional Tags: Angst, Animal Death, Animal Harm, vid, Video, Embedded Video, Fanvids
Summary: A Willow character study (through early Season 6)

Why I love it: Willow is one of my favourite Buffy characters. I know I say this about (almost) all the Buffy characters, but early anxious stressed Willow was someone I desperately wanted life to be kind to. She was genuinely quirky and funny, and Alyson Hannigan was SO good at making me empathise with her that I can't watch her cry without crying myself. Watching Willow hurt hurts me as well. This vid is basically an entire song's worth of Willow's anxiety and stress and hurt, so... it hurts, but in an incredibly good way.

Beatitudes (2 words) by Laura Shapiro
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Buffy Summers, Willow Rosenberg, Xander Harris, Rupert Giles, Anya Jenkins, Cordelia Chase, Angel (BtVS), Spike (BtVS), Riley Finn
Additional Tags: Ensemble Cast, Video, vid, Embedded Video, Fanvids, Vividcon
Summary: A requiem

Why I love it: Having said that Willow is my favourite... everyone else is also my favourite. Beatitudes had such a profound effect on me. I love the careful layering of the characters, the build of the crescendo, the triumph promised and won. (And there is a bit where the song goes "they can see god" and it's paired with this breathless revelation and that image and bit of song stuck with me from pretty much the first time I saw it, years ago.)

Actually, while I'm recc'ing Laura Shapiro's vids, let me add one more:

Circles (2 words) by Laura Shapiro
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The West Wing
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Abbey Bartlet, Jed Bartlet, Leo McGarry, Toby Ziegler
Additional Tags: Episode: s02e18 17 People, Vividcon, vid, Fanvids, Video, Embedded Video
Summary: The White House is no place for secrets.

Why I love it: LOOK AT IT. The pacing is perfect, the way the beats of the music exactly match the dramatic beats. This is one of my favourite parts of TWW canon, and the reveal is gorgeously done.

Also, I am very excited about the Open Doors imports that took place in 2018. If you haven't seen the list of imported archives yet, it includes such behemoths as the MTAC archive (the giant archive of NCIS fic) and the Spooky Awards (covering X-Files fic). I have spent SO many hours at both sites and I am really happy that they are now available at AO3 and the fics have been preserved. (I've had more than one moment of panic when attempted to access MTAC and finding the links broken or the site unavailable, so I'll be going through and carefully re-bookmarking everything.) There are a lot of fandoms covered - including The Sentinel, Firefly, Buffy, RPF, etc - and multi-fandom archives, so do have a look and update your bookmarks of your favourite works.

I'm also considering doing Smut Swap, and putting my nominations together was... interesting. Because I had the pairings, and then I had the kinks, and then... they wouldn't match. I could perfectly well imagine those kinks with other fandoms, but the fandoms I actually wanted to request? Nope. Anyway, I've put through what I've put through, but the kink noms are still really open for me because I only put a couple on there and I need to have a serious think about what I actually want to REQUEST, not look at the two lists separately.

And then I thought, "oh, and what I'm comfortable writing" and I blushed so hard I could feel it. I mean, I've written smut before. (Let's face it, I've written some absolutely filth, I'm OK with that.) But somehow this is turning me into a Victorian maiden. Idk what that's about. I will have to think hard about what to do re: this exchange. I do want to participate, but I suspect if I'm literally blushing over writing some mild kink, that's probably... not good. (I reiterate - I have written absolute filth in my time, I have no idea where this faux!shyness is coming from.)

I managed to slice my finger open on bread. On bread, people. I do not appreciate being defeated by my lunch.

In less fail-worthy areas, I want to talk about some of my favourite characters. You will notice that they are neither 25, nor male. This makes them the exception when it comes to be characterised as 'awesome' by the majority of fandom. (Much as I love K/S, fifty-eight of the new Star Trek communities that have recently formed could wink out of existence and the young, gorgeous and male characters in the cast would still get plenty of love. But I digress.)

So here's my love-song to all those women who managed to hit forty and still remain smart and gorgeous and made of awesome.

1. Atia (ROME)
When I think of awesome, I think of Atia. She single-handedly made ROME for me. She's smart, she's petty, she's beautiful naked. She's not a size 0. Best moment: when she's beating the crap out of Octavia and Octavian for sleeping together. Or when she turns up at Mark Anthony's wearing all those furs.

2. Servilia (ROME)
Ah, Servilia. Realistically, having Atia go up against a man would have been pointless, as she would have eaten him alive. Servilia, on the other hand, counted Julius Caesar as a lover, and Atia as an enemy. She was magnificent in her rage; even though I loved Atia, I would sometimes be traitorously wanting Servilia to win. Best moment: scratching a curse onto a bronze mirror and, of course, her final scene in front of Atia.

3. Irina Derevko (Alias)
Spymommy rules! Let's get over the fact that she also looks like my first grade teacher, which confused the smaller parts of my brain. Let's also ignore the last part of S5, as it upsets me beyond words. In all other respects, Irina rules. She is an Evil Overlady (who pretend to be an Evil Overlord, because men are stupid and wouldn't think of it - see, even the spellcheck can cope with Evil Overlord but doesn't recognise Evil Overlady!) and she manages to turn most of the Alias world upside down on a regular basis. Also, she's stunningly gorgeous, and isn't afraid to use that sexuality to her advantage. Come to think of it, ALL the women on this list still continue to use their sexuality, which must be confusing for those who think that a woman can't be a sexual being after 40. Anyway, best moments: getting changed on the train and catching Jack looking at her, helping deliver Isabelle, "no, I'm going to let him do it" and the whole Elena interaction.

4. Lwaxana Troi (ST:TNG & ST:DSN)
I recently rewatched Lwaxana's first visit to DSN with queenspanky, hence the resurgence of my love for her. She's played for comedic effect generally, but she also has such an air of pathos about her that she can reach quite impressive depths. I love that she has different hair for every occasion, and she can seduce a Ferengi just as convincingly as she can make a play for Picard. I love that she loves her daughter unreservedly, and Dark Page broke my heart. And her wedding 'gown' - priceless! Best moments: turning up for her wedding dressed traditionally, sitting in Picard's lap after being rescued from the Ferengi, catching the melting Odo in her skirts.

5. Iris Crowe (Carnivale)
Speaking of unreserved, unconditional love: witness Iris Crowe's not-entirely-appropriate love for her brother. Iris seriously blind-sided me in Carnivale; I honestly didn't think she would have been the one to do that with the orphanage. She struck me as too soft (can you believe that??), and so it was a real shock. Of course, listening to her reasons made it clear that she was anything other than soft, and after that I think I was more afraid of her than of Justin. Best moments: leaving the door open when bathing, explaining about the orphanage.

6. Laura Roslin (BSG)
The only reason I might decide to actually give BSG another chance is because of the awesome scariness of Laura Roslin. She had me when she shoved that guy out the airlock, and I know he was a bad guy, but she seemed to - well, not precisely enjoy it, but not be cut up about it, either. And I guess we're so used to seeing female characters feel at everything, that watching her do that so composedly really shook me. Best moments: not going bonkers when Tigh comes to visit her in her cell in S1, shoving the Cylon out the airlock, telling Baltar what she thinks of him when she thinks she's dying. I've only watched up to the middle of S2, so doubtless there are others.

7. Sally Jupiter (Watchmen)
This is the bit where everyone wonders what the hell I'm smoking, because I think that Sally is awesome. If nothing else, she is an immensely complex character to end up spoilering a spoiler with spoiler. I think that it's a shame that the entire fandom seems so focused on the second gen heroes at the exclusion of the Minutemen (and what little Minutemen stuff there is seems to be almost entirely slash. What about the awesomeness of the female heroes??). Best moments: telling Eddie to stay away from Laurie, and then telling Laurie why she couldn't hate Eddie. AWWWWW.

8. Joyce Summers (Buffy)
Joyce is, in fact, an excellent mum who is just trying to do her best. Her kid has announced that she's a superhero, and will be killing nasties regardless of what mummy wants for her (and mummy is quite certain that 'college' rather than 'decapitation' is what she wants for her daughter). Plus then Dawn turns up. I, I just - for a few brief episodes, before everything goes wrong, there's a real family at the beginning of S5, and they're happy. Which just makes what comes later that much more heart-breaking. Best moments: Valentine's day with Buffy - Thelma & Louise sounds like an excellent idea - and when Buffy comes back in S3. Hitting Spike over the head with an axe, And - this may not count - but The Body. Because that makes me cry every single time.

9. CJ Cregg (TWW)
I've decided that she counts because she is over 40, and is not little, cute or blonde. Not that little, cute and blonde can't be intimidating in its own ways. How do I love CJ? When I grow up I want to be just like her. The beginning of S6 - while upsetting - also makes me happy with the CJ-centric episodes, especially where we see her hit the ground running. Because she is made of awesomesauce and could pick it up like *snaps fingers* that. Plus, she has a fantastic body. And is amazing in bed. (What? She is.) Best moments: WHERE TO START, well, being amazing in bed, having root canal, the women of Qumar, kissing Danny, visiting Toby in S7, getting drunk with Abbey, smacking down the Joint Chiefs.

10. Narcissa Malfoy (Harry Potter)
I read a fic somewhere that describes the Malfoys as 'an army of three', which I think is amazingly accurate. Narcissa is on her family's side. Yes, she wants them to be successful, and yes, they have allied themselves politically to a particular side, but that doesn't mean that she's going to sacrifice her family on the altar of principle or political expediency. And, when you think about it, she's the reason that LV was defeated - and she doesn't regret it, not a single bit of it. Best moments: the dinner with LV and silent support for her husband, asking whether Draco's alive.

11. Kai Winn (ST:DSN)
Kai Winn should get her own section, entitled 'scary villains'. I'm rewatching DSN, and it's hitting me all over again just how much she freaked me out. She reminds me of Martha Stewart, if she decided to join the KKK and run for office. I won't spoil by mentioning her best moments, even though I am vaguely spoiled myself for S7. But her early appearances are awesome still: the bombing of the school, letting Minister Jarro stand alone, telling her mole that her semi-suicidal bombing was the work of the Prophets.

12. M (Bond films)
Judi Dench as M makes my knees weak, particularly in Casino Royale. The Brosnan Bond was too powerful, really, for us to see her as an effective control of him (which was always one of my pet peeves with Bond - he's an agent, he's disposable - he doesn't get to dictate terms to M!), but when we had the relaunch it all clicked for me. This M wouldn't hesitate to throw Bond at something guaranteed to get him killed. He's a tool for her: sometimes a precise, effective tool, sometimes a jack-hammer. Sometimes (very expensive) cannon fodder. But she's the one who makes the decisions, and he's the one who implements them. Best moments: that entire scene in her apartment in Casino Royale.

13. Livia (I, Claudius)
akjdfghfkghdfkgj, Livia. I have only read the book, not watched the series yet (I AM A BAD FAN; I am taking it to Zambia with me to watch in peace and quiet...), but in the book she is pant-wettingly awesome. She's the mind behind the throne, and when that throne is Augustus bloody Caesar, you get an idea of the sort of mind she is. Best moment: painting the bloody fruit!

14. Frau Totenkinder (Fables)
She interrogates BABA YAGA. Case closed. Plus, she's totally up to something... er, else. Best moments: young!frau exacting her revenge on her former lover, being rescued by Red and Snow, and, oh yes, INTERROGATING BABA FRIKKIN YAYGA. (Maybe you had to grow up with tales of Baba Yaga as a kid to get how inhumanly awesome and terrifying that is as a concept, I dunno. Baba Yaga was guaranteed to make me wet my pants as a kid, though, I find her scary beyond words.)

15. Kathryn Janeway (ST:VOY)
Star Trek seems to be doing remarkably well here, WHUT. Anyway, Kate Mulgrew was in her 40s as Janeway, which makes Janeway in her 40s - and that logic is good enough for me. And while Voyager sucked abysmally a lot of the time, some of the time it was totes awesome, and that was mainly because of Janeway and her forbidden love relationship with Seven. Best moments: going all Die Hard and hunting down giant microbes, facing down the skeezy Kashyk, Borg Queen face-off!!, telling Seven to date in a totally 'come hither' way.

So, there we are. 15 women too awesome for words. (Although I clearly found some.) Give 'em some love, they totally deserve it!

Sweet Jesus I have reached new levels of stress. I was running up and down the stairs today to work off excess energy. God only knows what my neighbours thought.

I've also been watching The X-Factor, because it is my sekkrit sinful shame-thing and I can watch while writing up notes and not diminish my concentration level in the least.

I should really declare an LJ-break during the exam period, mainly 'cause it's too tempting to just post about the revision I should be doing instead of actually doing it. But I know I'll ignore said break and end up more stressed because of it, so - gah! *runs around in circles*

To calm myself down, I signed up for tww_minis, which will involve me writing West Wing threesome fic. Yup, that's calming. *rips hair out* Go sign up here and join me in the madness. No, seriously, the deadline is after Xmas so it should be a nice excuse to unwind by re-watching TWW and writing flirty fic (no actual threesomes are required, so stop panicking).

Must go hit pillows some more. Gah!

Tomorrow, I am writing my dissertation. For real, this time, as it's due on 1 September and I have *counts* 10 days off work in which to write it. The research is done, and I've mostly planned it, so it should just be a case of sitting down and writing it until it's, well, written. Then sending it to people to rip to shreds, and re-writing it until it doesn't suck. Then having a ball. An actual ball, will ballgowns and everything.

In the meantime, we have fannish5 asking us to name five times that a character you like did something wrong -( so I did, with spoilers for S2 Buffy, S1 Rome, S4 Babylon 5, S3 Alias and S3 West Wing. )

Two nights left until exam results are out.

( sleep-related complaining )

Last night I watched some S6 West Wing. Maybe it's the fact that I have a large enough sleep deficit to finance Switzerland, or maybe I'm Sekkretly Traumatised (tm), but in watching 'Drought Conditions' (the one with Senator Rafferty), I ended up bursting into tears during the key Toby scene. Not really that surprising, as I love Toby and anything that upsets him upsets me (same goes for CJ, actually), but still rather unexpected.

I have some thoughts on how S6 as a whole is progressing, and why I continue to be sceptical: ( Read more... )